‘Tis the season for sweeping superlatives and list-making, which is actually the only thing I like about the putrid month of December. I figure I’m good for a few, now that I’ve created this self-important self-publishing platform for myself.
Funniest Thing (Written):
This won’t be much of list since, in my book, there’s a hands-down winner: Simon Rich’s “The Wisdom of Children,” from the Shouts & Murmurs page of the March 26 New Yorker. And it’s brief. Even if you caught it on the first go-round, try it once more:
I. A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.
There’s more at the link.