This post is about an episode of The Twilight Zone called “Two.” It can be watched in full on a very nice videoplayer right here.
A young Charles Bronson encounters a woman while both are foraging through the creaky rubble of a post-apocalyptic town. They each wear tattered but unalike uniforms, and they begin wrestling fiercely over food at once. Let me state, for the record, that the star of Death Wish II had striking ethnic features as a young man. Bronson knocks the woman out cold with an awkward takedown move. Poorly staged action, sure, but also somehow realistic: if I ever knocked anyone out, it would be awkward indeed. Naturally, Bronson and the lady are last two people on earth or something like that.
Bronson, discovering his humanity, tries to establish a bond with the lovely foreign solider, a young woman with dark hair and long boots who rarely speaks. Things proceed apace – a budding romance? – until they see rifles lying in the debris while walking the town. An instinctual paranoia strikes them both and we’re back at war.
From there, nothing worthwhile happens. See for yourself here, but I’d pass. This episode is a clunker – heavy-handed script, no tension at all, and with an anti-war message that is extraordinarily broad and toothless. Hope for better luck next time.
MINUTES LATER UPDATE: Ha! Thought the hot girl solider looked eerily familiar — it’s young Elizabeth Montgomery, who would become the non-brunette star of Bewitched. Thanks, internet.